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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?